I cannot let go…I will not let go…Lord, please!

by: Love’s Legato

After some time, anger began to replace the tears. How dare he? How dare he not call her and do this over the phone! The nerve of him to do a text breakup!

“What? Who is he?” her sister ask. She had forgotten that her sister was on the line.
“Hello?” She sniffles and replies, yes?
“Nathalie. What happened?”
“He broke up with me.”
“Who?”
“He broke up with me over text.”
“Again, who?” She began to tell her the story and anger starts to boil over.
“Hey, Nathalie?” Silence. “Nathalie?” Again, silence. “Nathalie!”
“Y-yea?”
“Listen to me. It’s over. It’s done. Stop your crying. You’re young, beautiful and smart. You can get anyone you want so stop it. Ok?” Silence.
“Ok?”
“Yes.”
“OK. I have to go. Its getting late and I have to work early tomorrow. I’ll check up on you again tomorrow.”
“Ok.”
“Ok. Its going to be ok, ok? Just try and get some rest.”
“Yea.”
“Alright. Ok, bye.”
“Goodnight.” Phone hangs up.

She sits in silence – eyeing the empty room and the boxes and suitcases lying against the wall. She then gets up, goes to the bathroom, washes her face – totally avoiding looking into the mirror. After drying her face, she plugs in the bathroom night light, turns off the light and heads back into the empty room with boxes and suitcases and a sleeping mat placed near the window. She sits down on the mat and looks out the window.

Looking out the window its no longer night, but day. Its the day of her 21st birthday and she and another guy is driving up to West Palm Beach from Miami to pick up her friend, sister, and ex-boyfriend (to her) for her and her twin sister’s 21st birthday bash. She is silent on the ride there because she has yet to tell her ex-boyfriend that she is with someone else and that he is no longer hers to love. She remembered how he played it cool – all throughout the South Beach hang out and boardwalk strolls. She even remembers how her then boyfriend and ex hit it off and started to sing their rendition of the Bob Marley song “Don’t Worry About A Thing.” Everything was ok. No blow-outs. No fights. However, she knew he was hurt. She has dated him long enough to know. That evening, after the birthday song was sung, and the candles were blown out, and the food and music were going, their eyes meet in the crowd. Everything went silent for her. She knew. Without a word, they both make their way outside to the balcony. There, they stood in silence for a good while, looking at each other: each unsure of what words to speak. Breaking the silence she asks him,
“What’s wrong?”
“Is he your boyfriend?” Silence.
“Is he?”
“Yes.”
“Wow.” He breaks the eye contact while running a hand down his face, and turns away.
“I’m sorry.” She says. “I did not know how to tell you.”
“So, you brought me all the way here to show me instead? For me to watch him be with you like that?”
“I’m sorry.” She says again.
“Nathalie, I love you. I am not sure when you became unhappy with me but I love you. Please. We can make this work.” She feels tears starting to well up her eyes.
“I’m sorry but I can no longer make you happy. You deserve more than I can give you right now.”
“Nathalie, please.” Passing cars headlights reflects the tears streaming down both their faces. She goes to him and hugs him tight as they both silently feel this heartbreak.
“I’m sorry” She whispers. They stood there holding each other, each realizing the full force meaning of those words. After a while, they separated.
“Please understand.” She says. He hugs her again, kisses her cheeks and looks at her again. She averts her eyes. Sighing, he promises to remain friends, squeezes her hands and walks back into the party.

She did not realize she has begun to cry until she felt tear drops splashing her arms. She sighs, angrily wipes her yes and laid down on the sleeping mat: first drawing both her knees to her chest then the covers over her head. As sleep begins to consume her, she wonders if all of this was payback for that day?

Chapter 1