3-Step Process that Will Revitalize Your Marriage!
Is your marriage making you feel discouraged?
Not long ago, my husband and I felt just like you . . . FRUSTRATED.
Yet, we weren’t sure what to do or where to turn for help.
As a young, naïve couple, we thought marriage would be easy—everything would just fall into place.
Unfortunately, this didn’t happen.
When we married we had no direction, no purpose, and no vision for our marriage.
We did have one thing though: our egos!
As individuals, we are both very independent and strong-willed people. So, coming into marriage we continued living as if we were single . . . pursuing our own interests and ambitions.
One night, we literally went to battle over unwashed dishes (dishes, ya’ll 😐🙈)…Only two months into marriage and we were each individually armed and ready to go to war for our own self-interests. …And may the best person “win.”
We didn’t realize it at the time, but we both felt unknown, unheard, and unseen.
We lacked healthy communication skills and devoted all our energy to surviving the first years of marriage.
Does this sound familiar?
Time for an Intervention
We realized our marriage was in trouble, so we took part in various challenges: #marriagechallenge and #dateyourspouse to name a few.
We read the most popular marriage books promising to deliver all the answers.
I (Nathalie) even forced my husband to take me out on dates (because that’s what healthy couples do, right?!).
We focused on creating the “perfect” marriage and doing #allthethings . . . yet, something was still missing.
We soon realized that date nights and a trendy #marriagechallenge were superficial solutions to a deeper problem.
That’s when we looked for answers on the how-to’s of married life.
However, after an exhaustive search, we only found two things:
- discouraging stories of broken marriages, and
- worldly advice on how to fix a dysfunctional marriage.
We needed encouragement from marriage mentors willing to share their Biblical wisdom with us.
The more disheartening information we read about marriage—and what the world told us we could expect from marriage—the more determined we became to not let those stories become our own.
We knew we needed to make a change, but we didn’t know where to begin.
Can you relate?
One evening, while on yet another forced date night, I (Nathalie) noticed a nicely dressed couple sitting a few tables away from us.
They sat quietly, intently focused on their plates, barely exchanging a few words the entire time they ate.
I looked at Lawrence and as he looked at me.
We both knew at that moment that we were going to do whatever it took to not be that couple.
When we got home that night, I threw away everything I had accumulated that told me how to “fix” my marriage. I unsubscribed from all the “save my marriage” blogs, and I did something radical . . .
I talked to my husband.
Let’s Get Real
That night, for the first time, I got vulnerable with Lawrence.
I told him about my fear of diving in deep to the messy parts of marriage—the stuff no one posts on social media.
With a raw boldness I didn’t know I possessed, I told him that I loved him, but I didn’t know how to grow in love together.
Finally, I confessed my lack of knowing how to center our marriage on Christ.
After I talked, something incredible happened. …My husband opened up too!
The walls of self-protection, independence, ego, and strong-will came tumbling down.
For the first time in our marriage, we weren’t just talking—we were communicating.
We talked for hours that night and promised ourselves three things:
- We were done settling for a “status quo” marriage.
- The fantasy “honeymoon period” was over—it was time to get to work and create the solid, Christ-centered marriage we truly wanted.
- We would rebuild our marriage foundation from the ground up.
We became more excited about each other, our calling, and our future—so excited that we knew we had to share our journey with other couples walking the same path.
So how did we do it?
How did we go from a drowning marriage based on self-interest, pride, and poor communication to a thriving marriage centered on healthy communication, calling, and Christ’s love?
We followed a 3-Step Process, and we want you to follow this same process—not for our glory or satisfaction, but because it will revitalize your relationship today.
The plan is simple.
And it works.
Know your purpose and worth in Christ, first as individuals, and then as a couple.
- What is my unique value proposition in Christ?
- Out of all the men and women in this world, why did Christ bring me and my spouse together?
- What can we accomplish better together rather than apart?
- Why was I created “for such a time like this?”
Plan your God-given calling into your marriage.
We spend endless amounts of time and money planning our perfect wedding day. Yet, how much time and money do we spend preparing for life after, “I Do?”
It’s essential to think about where you want your marriage to go: one month, one year, or one decade from today. Taking the time to identify your God-giving calling will ensure you move in the right direction and help you avoid pursuing goals that aren’t meant for you.
Not sure about your God-giving calling? We got you covered!
- discovering their current strengths and growth areas;
- providing an intentional and strategic next-step formula; and
- constructing a personalized blueprint to further enrich their marriage.
Grow in your relationship with Christ, both individually and as a couple.
The only way to grow in Christ is to spend time with Him and study His Word.
Developing a routine devotional life, getting into the habit of praying together and for each other, as well as keeping a prayer journal are great places to start.
“But, Nathalie,” you might say, “I don’t have the time for that.”
I get it. I really do.
We are all busy and pulled in a million different directions.
However, if you have 15 minutes to scroll through Instagram, if you have two hours to watch The Bachelor, if you have an hour to do CrossFit, then you have a few minutes each day to spend with your Savior.
We make time for what (and who) is important to us.
We have learned from experience that, unless we have a close and intimate relationship with Jesus, we cannot:
- experience God’s blessings in our life,
- be fully aware of the Holy Spirit’s protection and guidance, or
- find true happiness or fulfillment.
Your relationship with Jesus is THE MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP you will ever have—your life depends on it.
Let’s Dive Deeper!
KNOW-PLAN-GROW is a great place to start, but if you want to create an epic marriage—one centered on Christ and built on the foundation of rich, authentic communication and healthy conflict resolution skills, then you’ll want to join us for our communication workshop—designed with YOU in mind.
In this free workshop, we journey with you and show you how to transform your marriage and ultimate impact those around you.
Take the first step to a healthier, richer, more fulfilling marriage TODAY by signing up for:
See you there! 🙂
To love, always,
Lawrence + Nathalie
Professional bio: We’re a husband-and-wife marriage mentoring team who equips struggling couples with effective communication techniques. We believe in thinking outside the box when working with couples because everyone—including YOU—has a unique, extraordinary love story. We’re passionate about teaching you how to replace the negative, unproductive communication patterns that just aren’t working with positive, more beneficial ones that will transform your marriage. To learn more visit: www.loveslegato.com. We cannot wait to meet you! Mark 10:9