Encouraging Words For Wives
Listen, I get it. Your husband? He’s somewhat of an enigma, right?
It’s a struggle getting him to open up to talk about his feelings – not to mention even knowing what’s running through his mind in the first place.
Oh, and did I mention he might be a little sparse in the “romance department,” as well?
OK, VERY sparse (as in almost non-existent!).
Like I said, I get it!
So, it might surprise you to know just how much I believe he is actually aware of you.
Think I’m crazy?
Continue reading and you’ll see…!
Ask most wives and you’ll likely get the same response across the board: they’re unsure if their husbands:
- Love them…
- Truly listen to them…
- Know what’s going on inside the home…
Again, I’ve been there, too!
But what I’ve found is that it helps to take a step back and look with fresh eyes.
To help, here are three things to keep in mind:
He Loves You
By nature, most men are very intentional in the things they do – and rarely do something without a purpose. The fact that he chose to marry you – out of a million other women out there, no less – is a testament of his love to you. Though he might fail to say it a time or two, (or three!) – you can rest assured that he does in fact love you!
His main purpose is to provide for you and make you happy, which is why you should believe me when I say…
He Is Absolutely Aware of What Happens In the Home
Perhaps not the minute details like you are. However, he is certainly aware of the finances, bills, and status of the home. Do you find him lost in thought? Chances are he’s pondering how to provide you with the necessary things in life, as well as the “extras” that you enjoy: such as getting your hair done and spending time with friends without concern.
Many times husbands will even sacrifice their wants – such as the expensive toy they’ve been eyeing – in order to ensure that the needs of their wives (and children) are secured first. So, no, husbands probably won’t know that there is a stack of laundry to do or remember that they promised to go to a dinner party with you: but there is running water for the laundry to be washed in and money in the bank to attend that last minute dinner party, right?
He Does Listen To You (Even If It Doesn’t Seem Like It!)
Ladies, ask any man you know and they will tell you this: they want to make you happy. In fact, they will go out of their way to ensure your happiness as often as possible.
Why? Simple. A happy wife usually means less nagging – and, I think we can both agree that everyone is happier then. With peace in the home – and not having to answer for every little thing- men are happy campers.
So, how can he ensure that? To listen, of course! You might be surprised to learn just how much your husband knows about you, your routine, your desires, etc. It’s almost as if they file it into a ‘mental’ filing cabinet to start working on how to provide it all for you. It’s there… you just can’t see it.
And that leads to one little problem: as women, we tend to fill up that filing cabinet quicker than the task can be done. Thus, we are left with this erroneous conclusion: he simply must not be listening (or doesn’t care).
Instead of going down that rabbit hole with your spouse, try this instead:
Ask your husband “Do you love me?”
Yes, that may seem odd, however, he will likely respond with “of course I do, why would you even ask that question?” giving you the perfect opportunity to gently remind him that he forgot to say “I love you” today without sounding like you’re getting ready to jump on the train to “Nagsville”.
Ask your husband “How are we doing today?”
Asking this question will do two things; first, it gives him an open floor to speak his mind, and secondly, it lets hims know that you are interested in hearing what he has to say. Remember, it’s sometimes difficult for your husband to share the things on his mind with you – and ultimately, that’s why he remains buttoned up. As wives, it’s our job to check in to see how our husband is truly doing – and that starts with simple questions about their day.
I highly recommend that you try sitting him down to ask him, “How are our finances?“, “How are you doing today?”, “Is there anything I can help you with?” and watch how he immediately begins to respond.
Listen to Him
Women tend to be quick to say that men do not listen to them. However, how many wives can say that the truly listen to their husbands? Call me crazy, but do you know his dreams? His struggles? Do you know what goals he is trying to accomplish with – and for – you both today? If you cannot confidently answer these questions then you have some homework to do, too!
Nobody is perfect and marriage is absolutely work, but taking initiative in your relationship is the quickest way to success. Waiting around for things to be done or for others to take the first step means you’re only putting your relationship on the back burner.
So, in the words of Nike: Just do it! (and ask the questions that matter!)
To love, always,
Lawrence + Nathalie
Professional bio: We’re a husband-and-wife marriage mentoring team who equips struggling couples with effective communication techniques. We believe in thinking outside the box when working with couples because everyone—including YOU—has a unique, extraordinary love story. We’re passionate about teaching you how to replace the negative, unproductive communication patterns that just aren’t working with positive, more beneficial ones that will transform your marriage. To learn more visit: www.loveslegato.com. We cannot wait to meet you! Mark 10:9