A couple days ago, I was speaking to a friend of mine and I mentioned that I have a blog, I write about marriage and that they should check it out. Their response (after laughing at me)?
Friend: “A blog about marriage? You just got married!”
Me: eyebrows raised. “Uh….yea. So?”
Friend: “So? Don’t you think it’s a little too early to be writing about marriage? ”
Me: “Actually, no. I think now is the best time to write about marriage!”
Friend: laughs. “Ok. If you say so.”
When people hear about marriage blogs they automatically associate it with either a marriage that is in trouble, people who are seeking them out for advice; or, blog writer(s) who are sharing stories of how they overcame a certain trying time within their marriage. I don’t blame them! When I was engaged, I used to read (and still read) a lot and I mean a lot of marriage and family blogs: both Christian and non-Christian. Sure enough, almost all of them focused on
a) how to overcome XYZ issue in a marriage relationship,
b) how to be better spouse/mother/father by doing XYZ, and/or
c) some other self-help marriage counsel.
Please, not get me wrong here. There are some really good marriage/family blogs out there that I follow and learn from in regards to the woes of marriage, how to keep a marriage strong, and about family life in general.
Me? I have been convicted to write out the joys of marriage and how it reflects Jesus’ joy over humanity.
My purpose of writing is not to give out advice but to show that marriage is not always the “downs” but that there are some super high “ups” to it. Yes, I’ve been married less than six months but can I say that,
“I love love love love being married! I love my husband, I love what marriage stands for, and I just love our love story within the love story of Christ with humanity.“
That is the story I want people to see and know.
In addition, I just want to show people that yes, the first couple months of marriage does not necessarily have to be super hard like I keep reading and hearing all about. I’ve been married a little over three months – after being in a 3+ yrs long distance dating scenario – and so far Lawrence and I get along great and we definitely work as a team. Transitioning to living together was surprisingly not this horror story I braced myself up for it to be. Even though Lawrence works full time and I am currently a stay at home wife, he helps out with house chores, helps with laundry, cooks, washes dishes, clean and he doesn’t leave his stuff laying around whichever way (Thank God). He is very considerate and intentional about his actions.
Many would say (and have said):
“Oh, this is because you guys are in the “honeymoon” period,” or,
“You know, it’s going to disappear in a while after ‘real life’ kicks in.”
Ask my husband and he’ll tell you that he was way over the “honeymoon period” since we returned from our honeymoon trip because reality hit him then! He had to go back to work, rent was due literally the next week, other bills started coming in, and – on top of it all – he had someone in his life that God was holding him ultimately responsible for!
Ask me and I’ll say what people don’t realize is that I am not afraid that “this Lawrence” – as they say – is going to “disappear” after a few months/years into this marriage because that is the Lawrence I had whilst dating. When we were dating, he would clean up after himself after spending a couple of days with my family – consistently. He would wash his dish(es) when he’s done. Before marrying, he was the one doing his laundry and ironing his clothes and taking out the trash, etc. While dating, he was living with a family and the wife of that family made sure he helped out with the cooking. She made sure he helped clean the home and help out with other domestic work around the home. In addition, her husband taught him “the man’s” job: maintaining the landscape of the home, knowledge on how to cleaned and maintain a backyard pool. Thanks to his mom, Lawrence also learned how to respect a woman, play the piano, the importance of obtaining a higher education, and even how to change a tire, change out a car battery, etc!
He was even held responsible to babysit sometimes for his best friend’s child. I thank God so much for this family and his mother because through them, He gave me a man and a husband whom I dearly love. Through them, they made my life so much easier. We need more families like that. Families who will teach a young man how to be a husband.
But, I digress.
So, no. This is not a test :). It’s the real deal.
I just want people to realize that marriage does not have to be this bliss one day and a horror story the next.
Marriage can actually be a really really good thing. Yes, we are super young and new at this, and yes, we have our whole life ahead of us (God willing); yes, I’m sure we are going to run into all kinds of evils and the trying times that married people never cease to remind me of, and of course Lawrence and I are going to go through rough patches just like any other couple/relationships.
However, the foundations that we have been putting down this past couple of months we’ve been married is what we are counting on to hold us up whenever the rainy and “all hell breaks loose” days come upon us. Until then, we are learning to enjoy and bask in the ambiance of our sunny days :). I am pretty sure that if anything comes up, we can work it out, remain in prayer together-or apart-suck it up and work it out: because if there is one thing Lawrence and I agree upon is this: it’s “til death do us part.” Literally. There are no “buts,” “ifs,” and “maybes” about this marriage.
So, I look forward to many more days/weeks/months/years with Lawrence. I am looking forward to seeing what God accomplishes through me; through Lawrence; through us and through the ‘Love’s Legato’ ministry. I am hoping that readers see Christs’ love story to humanity – The Gospel – through our union. Or, if you are not a Christian, just how good a marriage can be.
So, yes. I am writing about marriage and yes, I “just got married” and yes (in case you missed it), I am very very very blessed to call my husband -Lawrence-mine 🙂