So, here I was, waiting for Lawrence to arrive and he is currently a no show. It is almost 10am (9:57am to be exact) and I was contemplating what to do because I do not want to be late for this meeting. I was expecting him to be outside the parking lot waiting for me and he is not here. So, -after much thinking- I got out of the vehicle and walked around the campus twice (I got a bit lost) to find the piano room located at the N building. Finally found it; walked into the building, a bit sweaty – (!!) – and very much upset!!

It is now 10:05am and still no Lawrence… All manner of thoughts are running through my head. Is today not Friday (date check: confirmed-Friday)? Is it really 10am (cell phone and car time check: confirmed 10:05)? Am I at the right place?? Walked out the building and double checked the sign: yes, N building. Walked back in. Still no Lawrence. He has yet to check up and to find out what has become of me. Am I lost? Am I on my way? Am I still even coming?? Where is she?? Nope. Not a single text inquiring about my well being… 😐

So now I am like beyond upset and sent him the text:

He never responded. So, I got up, checked myself out at the glass door mirror and turned around and there he was. My heart skipped a beat, palms got sweaty and I was like, here we go! mentally; all excited like.

We entered into the piano room and I guess he was recording something so he finished the recording and I sat in the corner trying to blend in with the wallpaper-only, there was no wall paper!!- and pretended to be grossly engaged in the sheet music I brought with me to play. Finally, he decided to stop doing whatever he was doing and asked me to get on the piano. Sure, whatever. Got on the piano and froze. I have not touched its keys in over 7yrs. So, I was really intimidated by it. Of course, Lawrence did not see it and was like ,well, are you going to play? I tried playing one measure and hit a wrong key and was devastated. I wanted nothing more then to be out of that piano bench, no, the room even (!) and Lawrence just stood by waiting to here me play.  I was livid. At myself because I forgot how to “play” the piano. At him for making me wait for him at the parking out, outside the building, for him to be done playing, recording, whatever.

It was awful. It was akward. It was such a disappointment.

At him for not seeing my anxiety over all this and still expecting a song for me. I wanted to get out of that room – like now. The whole situation was just awful, awkward and such a disappointment.

So, I told Lawrence that I forgot my headphones in the car so I am going to go back to get them. That way, I can play the song first without him listening to it (the piano was an electric piano) then when I am comfortable I will play the song for him. His response?

Ok.

Ok???? Like, just ok? Fine, whatever. I got up and left. I left with the full intention on not returning. I was so over this. Goodbye.

Part II of III.

Penny For Your Thoughts