Q&A: Long Distance Relationship: How To's

Conversation with The Francis'

#quicktipTUESDAY

Love's Legato

Next to Valentine's Day, the holidays are probably the next most hated time of the year for long distance couples!

Statistically, December is actually the most popular month for love: not February! Of all the engagements proposals that occur in a given year, 16% occur during December alone (!) compared to only 8% in February! Popular engagment dates in December includes Christmas Eve, Christmas Day followed by New Years eve/day (I know, I know. That is not December!)

No wonder why the holidays are not a popular time for those who are in long distance relationships!

So, what do you do when you find yourself all alone under a mistletoe with yours truly nowhere to be found??

 
 
 

The Most Romantic Time of the Year Is...

December with the most marriage proposals of the year!

 
%

June with the most marriages taking place then!

%

I was actually a summer bride. Maybe that's why our wedding cost and arm, leg, and tooth!

 

Times that by 2! 😐

Mr. & Mrs. Francis

Funny 😛 . June is such a pretty month to be married because its not too hot and definitely not cold! Also, everything is so green and lush and full of life. 

Only downside is praying that it wouldn't rain!

 

Yea. Especially since it seemed to rain everyday on the same time on the dot! 

We were actually scared it would rain on our wedding day because every day leading up to the wedding it would be raining the whole wedding time!

 
Mr. & Mrs. Francis

Yep. We were very blessed that on the actually wedding day not a drop of rain! A definite answered prayer!

Though the humidity did a number on my hair!

 

 

Pros of a Long Distance Relationship

When people hear the term 'long distance relationship' there is no postive thoughts or words that follow it.  However, I never had the doubt that if done with the right person, it can actually be a positive thing and work.

 
Mr. & Mrs. Francis

Hence why we are hear today 😀 . 

Lawrence asked me while we just getting to know each other what's my thought of  a LDR and I didn't hesitate to say I don't believe in it and do not want to be a part of it.

 

Unless what...

Mr. & Mrs. Francis

Unless...I was dating a guy like you (lol).

Should have kept my mouth closed because I didn't end up with a 'guy like you' but you and so hence, an LDR!

 

And it was the best thing that happened to you.

Mr. & Mrs. Francis

Sure.... 😐

For me, the pro of a LDR is that it teaches communication skills. By communicating through texting or calling, it forces us to learn context clues from a distance. 

You know, its a different way of talking because you do not have the person right next to you too see the expressions or body language so its a bit tougher. 

So, that teaches how to speak with expressive terms to let the other person know when you're happy, upset, having a bad day, whatever because the person can't 'see' it so you have to tell them.

 
Mr. & Mrs. Francis

True. Even when we 'see' each other during our video chats the communication is so different because you can miss the slight body languages because of delayed video time or just person being out of range from the camera.

Piggybacking on what you already mentioned about commuication, an LDR also teaches you how to say much in a short period of time. 

I am just remembering our $300+ phone bill we got the next month after returning from Haiti and we nearly, my dad actually, flipped because of that and pretty much told us we need to find a cheaper way of speaking!

 
 

Yea. He was not happy with us that month!

Mr. & Mrs. Francis

No, he sure was not!

Another pro is dedication. Being in a long distance relationship almost guarantee to test your level of devotion and dedication and to see if you're in it for the long run. You would not be with someone that you hardly ever see unless you were crazy for that person and wanted nobody else but them. 

You know, an LDR is not fun - especially now when couples seem to be everywehre and you feel a bit lonely. 

 
Mr. & Mrs. Francis

The thing about an LDR is that you're two different person essentially living seperate lives. Its so easy to get 'caught up' in your life and you consciencely or unconsciencely push the person out of to the side. Its also easy to do something and the person has no idea about it!

So, one would have to be intentional about including the other person on the everyday happening of their lives and commit everyday to be faithful, to be devoted and dedicated to making the relationship work.

 

Yes. If you're not intentional in like you said, keep each other included in your lives, the person will become a stranger really quickly.

 
Mr. & Mrs. Francis

Cons Of A Long Distance Relationship

Hands down is technology sucks. Wanting to spend time with your love for hours only to find out that the internet is running slow or with bad reception. Or, being in a middle of acall to find out that your connection was lost and you were talking to yourself!

 
Mr. & Mrs. Francis

So true! 

So many frustrations has happened because of that! So, we just learned to be more understanding and if it gets too frustrating just switch to texting!

 

Texting is slower but is the third best option

 
Mr. & Mrs. Francis

Third best?

Yes, speaking face-to-face is the first best followed by phone call.

 
Mr. & Mrs. Francis

Ah.

For me, the biggest con of an LDR is lost time.

You lose so much time being apart that you will never get back. Not only are you missing out on time but you're also missing out on opportunities together. 

Like for us, we missed the chance of hosting our first Thanksgiving together as a married couple. We missed so many anniversaries, birthdays, family get togethers, church functions, etc. etc just being apart!

Now that Christmas is around the corner we are just missing the most romantic time of the year together.

There is just too many 'missed' moments for me in an LDR.

 

What To Do When The Mistletoe is Missed

There is a lot of missed time together but it also gives you time to strengthen relationships around you.

So, meaning, if you find yourself alone on holidays the next best thing is to hang out with your family or close friends and catch up with them.  

 
Mr. & Mrs. Francis

Another thing one can do is work and make that overtime $$.

That is the time when people are trying to get off from work and its a 'goldmine' for someone like me who isn't to big on holidays and I am always that person willing to work so that co-worker who is a die-hard Christmaser (my word lol) can have that time off.. 

So, if circumstances won't allow for you to see each other for holidays instead of staying home and being all sad about it pick up some extra shifts so that you can build some funds to see each other more the following year.

 
 

Lastly, make up your own holiday celebration time. 

If an anniversary/holiday/birthday/whatever falls on such a date but you can't see the person until the week after or week before celebrate it together then.

It does not have to be necessarily that day its celebrate it.

Obviously, you would want to do something special that day but the 'in person' stuff can be done anytime. 

 
Mr. & Mrs. Francis

Definitely be flexible when it comes to celebrating events in a LDR. Like my husband said, don't make things set an stone. For example, don't be overworked because your birthday is on the 10th but yours truly can't come see you that day so it becomes a big argument for nothing.

The LDR that you're in is already complicated enough so don't add to it. Just learn to work together and make up your own rules that can sustain the relationship while you are apart.

 

#quicktipTUESDAY Recap

What To Do When The Mistletoe is Missed

"If you cannot spend time together as a couple during the holiday season, don't stay at home pinning away! Use that time to catch up with family and friends; or, spend the holidays with them!"

 

"Cannot meet under the mistletoe with yours truly this holiday season? Go make some money! Pick up some extra shift and save the funds as a mean to see each other one extra time the following year!"

 
 

"Christmas in July? Why not??  Make up your own holiday and be flexible! Celebrate events whenever you can be together! "

 
 

Penny For Your Thoughts