Its the holiday season where families gather around huge feasting tables with music and laughter and endless joy bouncing around. “Happy Thanksgiving” is being thrown around like confetti and “I’m thankful because…” reasons are being spoken out.

Yet, I’m alone, cold and lonely. Can you imagine that? To be married and lonely?

A few months ago I was not at this place.

A few months ago, I was right where I wanted to be: not here.

-Back Track-

I know ya’ll probably sick and tired of hearing this but I really love and am really blessed and beyond thankful to have an awesome husband: my Lawrence :). Lawrence is great in that he really takes care of my needs and wants. If I need anything all I have to do is ask Lawrence and “poof” I have it. Rarely does he say “no” to me (shh! lol). I really want for naught with him.

Lawrence is such a great husband that I tend to forget that its not Lawrence who is doing all these things for me. It’s God blessing and keeping him that He can show me His love for me.

Lawrence and I, after 3.5 great months of constantly being around each other, we found ourselves back to square one: seperated by distance once again.

So, here in my lonliness I am re-learning a forgotten lesson: how to be fully dependent on God.

-Present-

Sitting here during the holidays alone and with massive silence, it hits me on how much I have forgotten God and how much He has become second tertiary placeless in my life. Don’t ask me how this happened because I do not know. I have just been so used to having a need -> go to Lawrence -> need disappear that I literally had no need for God. No need for church. No need for prayer. 

For Lawrence got this.

Until…

I happen to look up and see my Bible on my night stand. The Bible is dusty to the max and it shows clear signs that it has not been picked up for a long time.

I picked up the Bible and as I am brushing off the dust from the cover I hear my name whispered and a tug on my heart. I just sat down and stared at the Bible and just said, “Sorry.”

For, what else could I say?

There’s just so much God has done for me that I should be thankful for. He not only gave me but kept my awesome husband during the day I took him for granted. He kept me and helped me during the toughest time I thought I’d surely flunk out of medical school. Through the Nevis years and thus far here in NY, He kept me. He kept my family, my friends. There is so much more He has done for me: too much for words. Surely, He has kept His words found in Psalms 37:4 to me! Yet, here I was being ungrateful to the core – on “Thanksgiving” day – placing my husband above God!

Has this ever happened to you, reader? Have you ever had a person in your life who truly pours love out to you and gives you their all that you forget its not them but Christ? Have you ever taken Christ for granted?

I challange you that during the craziness and busyness of this holiday season, do not forget Christ. As you go about your life, remember to take time out and thank Him for all He’s done in your life. While you are with family and friends enjoying good times and good food just whisper a “Thank you” to Christ.

If you find yourself alone, cold, tired and far away from love ones (a little like me lol), remember you’re really not alone. For you have Christ and your angel surrounding you. Lean on Him. Give Him your all.

He got you. Now, Always and Forever. He got you.

From the Francis’

Happy Holidays!

Penny For Your Thoughts