Killer of Relationships
When Lawrence and I first reminisced on how we met, the story would get so twisted so many times over to make him seem like a cool, confident guy who just walked up to me and like a boss say, “Hey girl, can I get your number?” That is not how it happened! Not by a long shot! Instead, Lawrence told me that he was very hesitant to approach me at first. Hearing this I was shocked and had to learn why!
Nathalie: Why were you hesitant to approach me??
–Mind you, I consider myself a very approachable person!
Lawrence: I don’t know.
After much bugging, the true reason came out
Lawrence: You had this serious, no nonsense, “Miss Independent” air about you and plus you rarely smiled. So, I did not say anything because a girl like you would never be interested in a guy like me.
Wow. Since I was 15, all I ever wanted to be was a “Miss Independent,” no nonsense woman who can handle her own. And here I was, being told the confirmation that I have become that women. My fiancé and I attended the same church for over six (6) months and not once crossed paths or spoke to each other: and the church is a not a large church! Yet, we were watching each other secretly and secretly developing crushes on the other thinking; he/she would never be interested in me, so we stayed our separate ways. Ah, the power of assumptions.
When we did finally manage to break the ice and started dating, I would carry on this “Miss Independent,” “don’t need a man to do xyz for me” attitude throughout the relationship.
I would not allow him to open doors for me, fought to see the restaurant bill so I could pay, insisted that there is nothing wrong with my God given two hands and two feet therefore I can do my own heavy lifting and moving, etc. Time after time after time again I would constantly remind him how I have to do those things for myself when we are apart.
Due to me being an international student, when I go home for the breaks, I would purchase a whole bunch of supplies/food, and pack them into boxes to be shipped out to my destination. Lawrence helps with the packing and loading – or, at least tries too.
I am never too far away to remind him (how can he forget??) that I got it, thanks.
So, here we are going back and forth on who actually got these boxes, wasting time because no work is being done. Finally, I saw Lawrence take his sexy, no nonsense posture and voiced and said.
Me: quiet due to shock
Lawrence: “Why do you constantly oppose me when I am trying to do something for you? Yes, I know you have two hands and two feet, and yes thank God they work perfectly fine like they are supposed to, and yes, I know you can do some heavy lifting. However, you can do all that and be “Miss Independent” all you want and as much as you want when you are by yourself. When I am here, I got it. Period.”
Lawrence: picks up the box and walks out.
Me? I am still in shock. Once I recovered from my momentary stupor, I was furious and was like “Oh no he didn’t!” and was determined to go find him and give him a “Listen here mister!” speech with all the head rolling and finger snapping charade. I made it to the door and a thought came to mind.